Off With Your ‘ead!

Having experienced our first Saturday night in London last night we weren’t prepared for the volume of, and the number, of late night revellers that would grace us with their screaming and carrying on in the wee hours of the morning. So it was a bit of an early start to say the least! Instead of wasting the morning away, we decided to get active (two out of three of us) and make our way downstairs to the hotel Gym. Ross and Toby expended so much energy, lifting, running, cycling, pushing, pulling. I was getting exhausted just watching them. So what was I to do? Have a sauna and hang out in the “New Balance Relaxation Room” of course! There was a lovely selection of Twinings teas on offer so I poured myself a cuppa and read a magazine in the sauna. The New Balance Relaxation Room certainly lived up to its title!

Being Sunday, we were very keen to go to church and we’d heard of a great church here – Ross had actually visited once before – called St Helen’s Bishopgate. In a beautiful historic building that lies right in the shadow of one of the most modern buildings in London, “the Gherkin”, as it’s affectionately known. It’s such a contrast to stand back and see them side by side. It was so refreshing to go in and be welcomed, literally with open arms! We met some great people and they were really chatty and hospitable. The minister, Willy, also gave a brilliant sermon and the massive pipe organ (you needed stairs to get up to it!) sounded amazing as it echoed around the high ceilings with the loud chorus of voices. We thoroughly enjoyed it.

The church lies in the middle of one of the financial district hotspots in London and the surrounding buildings apparently become the workplaces of thousands of workers during the working week. It was so hard to imagine as we walked through what was almost a ghost town, with closed shops, bars and cafes all resting up for their big working week ahead. It was eerie walking through the deserted streets and it was just so quiet. Andy, one of the guys we’d met at church, showed us the way to a local marketplace that played host to the cast and crew of the first Harry Potter movie when it was the site of Diagon Alley. We’ll have to watch the movie again now so we can remember what it looked like! Every now and then, either atop one of the bridges or down an alley way in the centre of London, a sweet, caramel- like, delicious smell fills the air. This is from roadside vendors selling caramelised and toasted nuts, which they roll in caramel and toast in their big round stainless steel bowls, right there in front of you; sweet steam rising into the cold air. I haven’t had a chance to try them yet but they smell so good!

Next on our agenda was to pay a visit to the famous Tower Of London, home to the crown jewels of England. Our yeoman warder tour guide (or “Beefeater”), Rob, was a barrel of laughs. He terrified us with gruesome tales of what had taken place within the walls of this ancient building but thankfully, sprinkled in just enough humour so we could bear all the gore! We learnt so much about Kings and Queens and Archbishops and Knights. One thing’s for sure, you were taking your life in your hands (quite literally) agreeing to marry King Henry VIII! You’d think you’d be pretty wary after your fiancé had ordered the cutting off of the head of the wife that preceded you. He was a horror and it seems incredible that 7 separate women saw past his tarnished reputation and sordid past (not to mention the beer gut and the atrocious table manners) and fell victim to his charms. He must’ve had something going for him!

The English were so barbaric and the number of public executions that took place at Tower Hill – right near where we are staying – is staggering! People would crowd around to watch their nobles, archbishops, queens and kings, or anyone perceived as being a traitor, being beheaded, cheering and chanting “God Save The King!” The severed heads were displayed at the gate at the entry to the London Bridge for all to see. For some there was the private execution area, inside the Tower’s walls. Only a select group of sadists could stay and watch those. We heard one story of a totally innocent woman, who was beheaded with an axe and block, merely to get back at her traitorous son who was on the run in Europe somewhere and couldn’t be tracked down! I’m so glad we’ve moved forward from these dark and bloody days! The only head without a body we want to see in this place is the head on a beer!

It was really interesting to see behind the great walls that surround the castle and realise that there is such lush green grass growing in the grounds. It looks so bright against all the grey. There are all sorts of buildings inside there too, including a couple of chapels, accommodation for the yeoman warders and their families and of course the very precious crown jewels. The beefeaters are actually very highly decorated soldiers in the British Army who have had to have served at least 22 years in the Queen’s army and been awarded medals of valour. It’s a tough gig to get! Toby described them as a sort of All Stars of the British Army. There are also pet ravens that live inside the walls. They are looked after so well and hand fed so their coats are the shiniest of black and they are enormous.

We got to view the crown jewels in all their glory and were dazzled by bejewelled crowns, sceptres, orbs and rings. I also learnt today that there is a golden royal spoon, used to anoint the incoming monarch with oil. Wouldn’t that be unpleasant, on your big day, having oil poured all over your head? You’d want to make sure you hadn’t washed your hair that morning. Speaking of all things golden, one of the most impressive items on display today was the GIANT golden punch bowl. It is solid gold and so incredibly shiny. It could contain enough punch to quench the thirst of the entire British army! I reckon you could probably swim in it if you were short enough.

The swords and armour were extraordinary too. The horses had complete sets of armour as well as the knights and once the knights had their whopping big swords or jousting sticks in their hands, it would have been a very heavy load for the poor horses.

Being 13, Toby is free or charged as a “child” wherever we go in England. There are so many perks to being under 14 here! In Australia a child is mostly 12 and under and in America it was even younger. But here, he can eat free in lots of restaurants and keeps getting discounts and special deals. It’s great! He’s making the most of it while he can. Today at the Tower Of London for instance, he got a free pencil and a badge (which he wasn’t overly excited about but hey, it was free).

Our hotel has 7 floors and we are on the 6th floor, right up one end of the corridor, a fair way away from the main lifts in the hotel. We have to walk up a long hall, round a bend and then down another hall to the lifts. It’s not too bad but still a bit of a walk. Today though, we made a very cool discovery. Right outside our door, there’s a fire door with a fire escape and stairs and inside the door there’s another lift. It’s like a special private lift just for us! No one else ever uses it so it’s right there, within seconds of summoning it and it brings us out through the back of the restaurant, through a secret squirrel entrance. We feel like undercover spies! It’s very cool.

Something I forgot to mention yesterday was our trip to the Tate Modern. It was about time we added some culture to our trip. We didn’t stay long and didn’t see any of the big exhibitions but so enjoyed just browsing around and looking at the paintings in the main galleries. It was awesome to be able to stand so close to original Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso paintings! They are totally brilliant and it blew our minds to see them in the flesh, so to speak. One thing that did not blow our minds was a very strange piece that took up almost an entire room and consisted of a giant triangular-shaped clump that looked like a termite mound, hanging suspended from the roof from a steel girder. It was surrounded by dark brown, irregularly shaped lumps of clay (not much imagination is needed to guess what they may have looked uncannily like) lying all around it on the floor. It was titled “Lightning With Stag In Its Glare” and its title plaque went on to try to explain the intricacies of its meaning. It seems that if you have to explain it in that much detail, perhaps you should have made what you were trying to say a bit more obvious. Just a thought.

Ross and Toby took advantage of the giant tv screen and free delicious nuts downstairs in the hotel’s bar tonight and watched Manchester United draw with Cardiff. They said it was a really exciting game and I could hear the cheering from up in our room!

Previous
Previous

Bonjour From Grenoble!

Next
Next

Pounding The Pavement