The Big Smoke
As hard as it was, it was time to leave beautiful, sleepy Sandy Point and head to the big smoke. Ross was in the driver’s seat and we were pointed firmly towards the Southern capital. Toby had crafted a special playlist for us, featuring all his favourite bands hailing from Melbourne, so that was the soundtrack for today’s drive.
Grabbing some breakfast and coffees on the run, from the unusually named town of Meeniyan, we got to meet the man himself - Marty Moo - the barista with his own personalised coffee cups: “Guess Who? It’s Marty Moo, delivering you this mighty fine brew.” The coffee was great. Thanks Marty.
There are road signs all through the Victorian countryside, promoting power naps for tired drivers. “Weary? Take a Power Nap?”, “Yawning? Take a Power Nap”. They even have designated Power Nap Areas. Rossco was heeding the signs and, starting to flag after a morning of being at the wheel, he took a break and Sam became our driver, guiding the car very capably to our destination by the Yarra.
While the rest of the family have spent some time in Melbourne, this was the first visit for Toby and Maisy. As we approached, we were all thinking about and discussing what we associate with this fair city. Good coffee obviously featured heavily for our caffeine-loving family members, good music, great shopping, high fashion, great restaurants…We started reeling off all the celebrities we know that live here too, hoping for some famous face sightings. Sam and I mentioned Andy Lee and ‘Cackling Jack’ Post from our favourite podcast, the Hamish and Andy Show. If you see them in public, they have promised to give you a dollar if you ask for one. Jack, being a little tighter than his comedic colleagues, has specified the need to have your bank account details ready when you see him or he won’t pay up. We joked about how funny it would be if we saw them. Sam suggested that it was doubtful, as Andy especially, is a huge cricket fan and would no doubt be lounging on his couch today watching the Ashes. Oh well. We’d keep our eyes peeled.
One thing we hadn’t really thought through was the issue of taking a trailer into the city. We’d phoned ahead to check possible parking arrangements with our hotel and found that we’d need to find 2 parking spots in the public parking station across the road. On a busy Saturday morning in the city, what were the odds? I prayed that 2 spots right near each other would be available and lo and behold, as Sam expertly guided our extra-long transport under the boomgate and through the tight turns, there were 2 empty spots together, our name written all over them. Thanks God!
Though we were early, we were able to check-in to the hotel (it’s always worth asking) and we set off, wide-eyed, to explore this magnificent metropolis. Sam played tour guide, walking us up around Southbank along the Yarra and into the heart of the city and its cool laneways. Our snap-happy posse rode a tram, drank some coffee and pounded the pavement, loving the city’s colourful and uniquely quirky architecture. Toby had been on the hunt for some film for his camera - apparently film is where it’s at - and it’s a lot easier to find some Kodak Gold in the big smoke than in the country towns we have been frequenting. We split along gender lines, the boys heading to the camera shop and we girls having a wander through the Vic markets, with plans to rendezvous later on. Like the Borough Market in London or Mercado de La Boqueria in Barcelona, the Queen Victoria Markets, right in the city centre, is the place to get all things gastronomical, from exotic salty salamis and choice cheeses to incredible fresh fruit and voluptuous veggies. As we entered the bustling fresh produce section, Con the Fruiterer doppelgängers were shouting loudly over one another about the price of their tomatoes, the length of their zucchinis or how many avocados you could buy for two dollars. Bee-you-diffal!! What an atomosphere!
Sam introduced us to a very funky little spot for lunch. It was “so Malbourne”: chic industrial with bare brick walls, designer lights and custom-graffitied windows. The food was amazing too, though I managed to stuff up our order, forgetting who had ordered what, when I got to the counter. Molly, being vegetarian, was less than thrilled with her focaccia that came with lashings of speck. Attracted by the cute, little, purple garlic flowers (which I’d never tasted) I had ordered a veggo meal myself so the situation was quickly remedied when we just did the old swaperoonie. The garlic flowers were actually scrumptious and probably not surprisingly, tasted just like garlic.
In full tourist mode, we strode around the city like country-bumpkins out for the day. There were some seriously weird…er...fashionable outfits on the streets today. Lots of vibrant hairstyles, sparkles, men in dresses (not very politically correct to comment, I know), crazy colour combos. Definitely more ‘out there’ than your average Sydney-sider. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Cackling Jack! He was just strolling along the street with his wife - completely unsuspecting - when, as a reflex reaction, I yelled out: JACK!!! Can I have a dollar?!”
He told me I should have had my bank account details ready so could not oblige. Hahaha. What are the chances!? I couldn’t believe we had actually discussed it that morning and there he was. We told him too and he couldn’t believe it either. Sounding like a crazed fan-girl, I told him what a huge fan I was and asked if we could get a photo with him. His wife Bianca even took the shot for us. We said we were from Sydney and he was pretty chuffed we had spotted him and so willing to chat and laugh with us. What a legend. It’s fair to say I was a bit star struck.
The riverfront was thriving with activity this afternoon, people packing into waterfront venues for cocktails and catch-ups. The joints were jumping. The great seething throng of people out enjoying the sunshine, did surprise us somewhat, given that Melbourne is still recording such high Covid case numbers each day. We pulled up some stools at a great bar/restaurant on the banks of the Yarra, that juts out over the water, partaking in some cool libations and afternoon snacks. The music was pumping (insert old woman’s voice) - a little too loud at times -and there was a real vibe to the place. It was a fun spot to people-watch; a hive of activity on the water with groups of well-dressed punters hiring boats for birthdays and dog-walkers sauntering along the shoreline.
Our decision-making skills were sadly lacking tonight as we tried to work out where to have dinner. Being the foodie capital of Australia, we were spoilt for choice, which sometimes makes it harder. Initially Ross suggested we go to the famous Lygon Street, the hub of great Italian food, but Toby had his heart set on St Kilda and the ‘Espy’. Sam and Molly were keen to go to Stalactites and eat Greek but Maisy doesn’t like Greek food. After much debate and indecision we opted to wander down to Southbank, right near where we are staying, and see what we could find. Being a Saturday night, Melbournians were out in force, alfresco dining areas bursting at the seams. Having not booked anything, we were doubtful we’d find a place able to squeeze all six of our bottoms on chairs. So, with grumbling bellies we decided to book an XL Uber and head to Lygon Street after all. We were not disappointed. With a menu containing a Margherita pizza that was crowned: “World’s Best Pizza for 2014” (not Melbourne’s best Margherita pizza or Australia’s best Margherita pizza but the WORLD’S best Margherita pizza) “400 Gradi” seemed the obvious choice of restaurants. Maisy, Sam, Toby and I found it hard to go past the award-winning masterpiece and agreed it deserved all the accolades that had been bestowed upon it. Ross had a delectable mushroom risotto and Molly opted for the ‘154 Formaggi’ pizza, in the Guiness World Record Book for the most cheeses (154, hence the name) on a pizza. Surely they can’t lie about these things. We were struggling to even name 154 different cheeses. Just genius. I made comment that the pizza sauce was extra tomato-y and tasted like it was homemade. Sam envisioned someone’s Nonna, whipping up a batch of napolitana and driving it t the restaurant. You never know.
The gelato menu was, as Toby would say: Ridiculous. 24 delicious flavours to choose from and they served it with those teeny tiny plastic spoons that make it last so much longer. Our waitress, Dani, was extra attentive and lovely and I told her I’d give her a mention on our “travel blog”. Assuming we were on a year-long adventure trekking around Australia, she was a little surprised we were just on a 2 week family road trip and writing a blog. So please, if you ever go to 400 Gradi in Lygon Street, please ask for Dani. We, along with just about the entire Italian population of Melbourne, who joined us there tonight (a good sign) highly recommend it.
